Home Sweet Home?

Was driving home today, heard a song I really like, have heard it before, but it always gets me thinking. 
Rehab - Welcome Home.  There is a verse that gets to me every time.

What a beautiful day
Lookin back and thinkin bout the people that I'm missin
You can hear 'em in the breeze and the trees if ya listen
Some are in the ground and some are in prison

I think of two people.  Jared Paul Stene, taken too early, was a great man at a young age, could have been a better man, and could have accomplished some monumentally epic things.  Now we are all left to wonder what could have been.

The other is my brother.  In prison until 2018 at least, and when I think of him, questions start pouring in.

Where will I be then?  Will I have a family?  Will I have a career job?

Then I start to wonder about the meaning of home.  Some say home is where the heart is, but what if your heart is broken into pieces?  A small piece with him, another with my mother, another with my father, but the biggest piece for me is for my sister.

"But you don't have a sister Jon."

I was supposed to.  I was a twin.  I have tried to make peace with never being able to feel quite whole, but usually fail horribly.  But, I digress.

If home is where the heart is, and my heart is everywhere and nowhere, then where is home?  I used to feel at home on the football field, coaching or broadcasting, I no longer have that feeling.  Used to have that feeling while working as a DJ, but my educators sucked all the passion I had for that.

Where is home?

I wonder, after spending at least 10 years in prison, where will my brother feel at home?  Will it be at the house we grew up in, one that may only contain me?  If not, where else could he possibly get that feeling?  He sure as hell is not going to get welcomed home from the members of the community. 

Where is home?

I figure that I will take a page from former U.S. Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart when, in a 1964 decision, wrote "I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced . . . [b]ut I know it when I see it . . ."

I miss you brother, and on that day when you are released from your chains, I will welcome you home, as best I can.